“When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.”
~ Cynthia Occelli
There is nothing in your world that is more important for you to understand than the subject of this post…Your life is about YOU!
It really is about you, and you have to bear this in mind as you continue along your journey.
Why Is This Important?
“So, Don,” you ask, “why is it so important to make sure my life is about me?”
That is a fair question, and I do have an answer for it…Your life is about you because you are all you have. You are the most important person in your life…you have to be, or why are you living?
Of course there are other people in your life, people that play a big role in shaping what you experience here. You have your spouse or significant other, your children, your parents, your friends, acquaintances, and so on. But of all of these, you must be the most important. Without you, what would your life be like? Well, to be frank, it wouldn’t.
Since your life is about you, it is important that you live the life you want to live. You must live your own personal significance. You can’t let others dictate how, why, or where you live your life. If you do, then they are in control of your life…and if you look at the state of their own life, you might want to take a second thought about letting them control yours.
Yes, you make compromises and mutual agreements with others, but if you do so with your own well-being…your own best interests…in mind, those compromises will enrich your life and allow you to live with the free choice you were meant to have.
How We Get Off Track
We pick up a lot of our attitudes and beliefs when we are very young. We do this unconsciously as we are taught by our parents, teachers, and others that we respect. They teach us how to behave and what the “rules of life” are. BUT…they teach us their version.
We want to please the people we respect, so we blindly follow what they tell us. They tell us they want us to behave in a certain way…a way that makes THEM feel good. They teach us that pleasing ourselves is “selfish,” and when we are “selfish” it doesn’t make them feel good…so they punish us by withdrawing attention or disapproving of us. Hmmm…they want US to make THEM feel good…who is the selfish one?
We pick up these beliefs and attitudes and we hold them to be true. We start to live our lives for others more than we do for ourselves, and we keep at it until it is habit. Now we care more about others, and treat others better than we treat ourselves. We are no longer the most important person in our lives. It is a sad state of affairs, but, unfortunately, a very common one.
How do we bring ourselves back to being the most important person in our own life? How do we regain the attitude of our life being about us? Well, we have to practice to change the beliefs that we picked up when we were young.
The first thing you need to do is decide that it is right for us to be the most important person in our own life. We need to convince ourselves of this. It isn’t easy to change this belief. It is more difficult for some than it is for others, but we all seem to struggle with this.
To aid in the practice, try doing something nice for yourself every day. Do something that says to yourself, I am important. Make treating yourself as important a habit.
Try saying “no” when you really don’t want to do something. When somebody asks you to do something that you don’t feel like doing, it is okay to say “no.” It may not please that person, but it will please you, and you will take back a little part of your life. Remember, you are not here to please others at the expense of pleasing yourself. You are meant to enjoy your journey…so make sure it is YOUR journey that you are travelling.
Give yourself permission to dream of your ideal life. Make it as real as you can in your mind. Visualize it every day…and do something that moves you toward that dream. Do something every day, no matter if it is something that will please others, or piss them off. Do it for YOU.
Don’t let others live your life. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something, or that you shouldn’t, or that you will fail. Don’t let anyone steal your dream. You are the only one who can decide what is right and wrong for you. You are the only one who can set limits for yourself. Go for it. Live your life fully.
I am not saying that you should not have compassion for others. I am not saying that others should not be important in your life. I am not saying that you should not do things for others. What I am saying is that when you do something for others, make sure that it serves you and your path. You are not responsible for anyone else in this world. Each is responsible for themselves. Make your decisions and let others make their own.
Letting go of your old beliefs in this area can be a difficult thing, but I encourage you to keep at it until you are in the habit of living your own life as you wish to live it. Keep at it until “Your Life Is About YOU!”
What are you doing to take back your life? Leave a comment to let the readers know.